Caught in the Middle...

Dear Carli,
I recently found myself in a love quadrangle.  I have 2 best friends (N) & (R) that have been seriously seeing each other for 11 years, including having a child together that unfortunately died.  About a week and a half ago, I started seeing (J), who was introduced to my by my best friend (N).  Although (J) has been separated from her husband for only the last 7 months, we hit it off immediately by talking a lot and having an amazing first date and everything seemed wonderful and was going very fast and fun.   While I was on a date with (J), my best friend (N) drives up and reveals that in fact he and (J) have been dating each other for the last 9 months (thus also revealing that (N) was cheating on my other best friend (R)).  Furthermore, it is revealed that (J) had very recently miscarried (N)'s child and that they had scattered some of those ashes over (N) and (R)'s deceased daughter's grave.  (N) has insisted all along that he was going to break up with (R) and be with (J) forever, and also that he had prayed to God and God said that this was the right way.  (N) and (J) tried to persuade me to secrecy, but I decided to tell (R) EVERYTHING the next morning.  Did I do the right thing by telling (R)?

Best Regards,
Caught in the Middle
 

Dear Caught in the Middle
First of all, let me just send my condolences to you and R.  And let me reassure you, you did the right thing.  What other choice did you have?  Not only was your heart smashed to smithereens, the subsequent moral dilemma you suffered through would be trying to anyone. 
Now that you are on the other end of what must be a devastating blow, just remember the following:  you are a fabulous person, and you will find someone who deserves you!  Now, what you need to do for yourself is allow your soul time to recouperate.  The pain experienced from something like this will take time to heal; I always say recovering from a relationship is a mourning process.  You need to allow yourself to feel the pain, accept it, and pick up the pieces and move forward.  Go out with friends, meet new girls, and regain your bearings.  Eventually it may be good to talk with (N) about the situation, especially if you want to preserve the friendship.  Good luck, and take care of yourself.
 

Carli